eating

This morning I was thinking about how I eat differently when Rice isn't around. Even when the kids are here, I still eat differently. It's a lot more basic when I'm by myself.

I can see myself making bread and an eggplant or white bean or garlic spread, or hummus, and eating that for dinner with maybe a small salad. Or vegetarian soups, and bread. (Maybe I should bake some bread...). I've done that before. When Rice isn't around, I'm such the vegetarian. The last time we lived for an extended period of time apart (when I started grad school and we lived separately for a couple weeks) I found myself eating and living differently than when Rice and I are together.

I'll have to remember to get enough protein and calcium, particularly for the baby.

It's funny how two people from different backgrounds and lives make a new one when they come together. I live differently when we're apart in so many ways.

I'm thinking of looking at this as a time to explore my individual self and independence (though these aren't these I've ever completely lost) than a time of being apart.

I haven't been completely alone like this for years. When Rice was sent to Belgium all those times J-Spot still lived here and so I had someone in the evenings. And now there's kids, which is a different sort of alone and togetherness.

And the more and more I think about it, the more and more I think writing a novel in November may be a good idea. It may be the best, healthy choice.

I have to work on revamping Avadore's naps in prep for J-Spot's wedding. (It's at 3 p.m., right smack dab in the middle of naptime, and will go with pictures and the reception until past bedtime.) While Rice is gone I may start putting the kids down earlier at night, getting them up earlier in the morning and napping earlier in the afternoon. And when they go down at night, I'll write until time for a decent bedtime. And when they nap, I'll take a short nap. Not long enough so I can't go right to sleep at night (because nights are truly the worst for me, especially in winter), but long enough so I can function in the evening and have the energy to parent and write. Of course, Daylight Savings time will be an interesting factor in all of this.

october day

It's the most beautiful October day outside. Lately, it's been warm, the golden sunlight illuminating the gold and red leaves (and truly these are my favorite sort of fall days -- where the light glows and the colors are vibrant). But it rained last night, and the air outside is cold and misty; a thin fog is surrounding the hills. The sky is gray -- veiled and gauzy. This is the sort of weather where magic things happen -- when fairy women cross over the lake the visit the land of the mortals, when warriors in heavy metal armor ride to battle on their giant horses. When ghosts roam through the land, cloaked by the fog that hovers above the earth.

It's a good day for tea and candles, low lights and writing. Or maybe a really good novel and tea.